Girl I Think Your Butt Gettin' Big

One thing that has for sure changed since I moved out here is worrying about my weight. My first job here as a PA I vividly remember inhaling Rice Krispie treats off the craft services table any chance I got (mostly to stay awake). One of my fellow female co-workers would watch me in awe and ask me why I wasn't worrying about gaining weight. The answer back then was that I never had to before...

I've been a dancer since I was three years old. While you would think that would make me obsess about my weight and become anorexic it did the exact opposite. I was probably exercising about 14 hours a week, if not more, and never had to think twice about what I was eating. I received my dance minor at Emerson and taught at a dance camp in the summers so it wasn't like I ever gained the Freshman 15 like most people do. No my weight awakening happened 5 years later than most people's.

It didn't happen right when I stepped off that plane at LAX. And I didn't balloon up to 200 pounds either but one day I realized I was at least ten pounds over the weight I had been since I was probably 14. That was the day I finally started to worry about what I ate. Sitting at a desk all day and munching on the free (not healthy) snacks in the office doesn't make for a very active body and I live in the land of skinny bitches. On this very day I'm on a "food plan" that a nutritionist made up. I'm only currently about 3 pounds over that "goal" or what used to be "regular" weight but I see it all over my body. I have two award shows, a wedding and beach season to worry about (wow don't I sound annoying) and therefore I'm eating fruit and vegetables at any chance I can. I also take a weekly trapeze class (cause the dance classes out here are brutal but another entry, another day) to exercise and belong to a gym.

This in itself wouldn't make me too jaded. The food plan is actually really healthy for you and probably just makes me feel better in general. I also don't do it all the time just when I feel myself creeping up towards the 10+ pound level again. Yet, I find myself judging other people, especially when I'm on "the plan". Earlier today I saw a woman holding a bag of cookies and eating one. I can't even begin to write what went through my head when I saw her. It was awful. I've definitely eaten a bag of cookies in my life and it's Friday - live it up! Right? Eat a fucking cookie or maybe even two. Nope, in that moment I judged her for well I won't write it.

But because of that the score currently reads...

LA Judging Lady: 1

Delightful East Coast Doll: 0